|My husband loving on our daughter, who is almost 3 weeks old in this picture|
We all know it is hard work growing a baby, working, keeping the house from being a wreck, plus trying to figure out what's for dinner! So this would be one of those posts that you read and then pass to your spouse and say "Honey, you need to read this!" This post was co-written by my husband. Since this is our second baby, I figured he was an expert at dealing with a pregnant wife. Here are the top ten things your hubby can do to make your life easier!
10. Fix Dinner- She has been busy all day at work or at home caring for the kids. Occasionally offer to make dinner for the family. If you have a meal that is a "husband specialty" offer to make it so she can sit and relax for a moment (or take care of the kids) Just simply taking care of the meal might relieve just enough stress to help her relax a little. It is amazing what little things can make a huge difference. This will also help her see how much you appreciate her and her hard work!
9. Be Romantic- Just because your wife looks different and may be acting different does not mean she is a different person. She is still your wife and she needs to know that you still love her. It is a great idea to take her out on a date several times while she is pregnant. Make her feel special and beautiful. Take her out to a nice restaurant, let her dress up a little OR just simply bring home some flower to her or write her a sweet note about how much you love her! Remember, your wife might be in a very romantic mood one night and then not at all for long periods of time. Do not get offended, it is the wonderful pregnancy hormones you can blame.
8. Fulfill requests happily- If you have not noticed, your wife gets tired a lot easier now that she is pregnant. Being on her feet for long periods of time is hard. She is probably taking naps (if there is time) when she normally did not. And she will probably ask you to do more for her. Happily fulfill whatever request she asks. She probably already feels bad for asking and complaining or what-not would make things worse. My wife's most common request is to get her some ice water. She knows I will get it for her and I know how important it is for her to drink enough water. Every evening I make sure she has water by her bed before she goes to sleep.
7. Offer massages- Your wife's body is going through lots of changes physically and it is very tiring on her body. She will ache and be sore in places she never dreamed she would be! Offer to rub her back and neck or offer to do a hand massage with oils or lotions. Skip the foot massage because later in pregnancy this can cause pre-term labor (it is very unlikely, but it is not worth the risk) Not only will a massage from her husband feel wonderful on her aching body, but it will also make her relax and feel more beautful because you are paying attention to her.
6. Be flexible and understanding- As previously stated, your wife is growing a baby and that causes your wife's body to do crazy things. Just because your wife was very active before she became pregnant, she may not want to do as much OR she may not feel up to it. When my wife was pregnant with our son she would get so frustrated because she wanted to do all these things, but then would get too tired and not want to do anything. Be flexible in the fact that plans may change in an instant depending on how your wife is feeling, and when things do change on a whim, do not be upset (she is probably already upset herself and does not need you to be upset too). Be understanding and encouraging.
5. Compliment Her- There is nothing like a growing tummy to make a woman feel ugly, but there is also nothing like a genuine compliment about the way she looks from the man she loves. Compliment her and tell her how beautiful she looks. Trust me, she needs to hear your compliments often. Do not be shy with your compliments, but be careful with them. Make sure they are compliments to make her feel beautiful, not compliments that make her think you are shallow. Growing a baby is hard work, and the fact is...men CANNOT do it! Make sure you tell your wife how much you appreciate her and how proud you are of her. The best compliments of appreciation are those that say "you are doing a great job growing that baby" "I am so proud of you eating right so the baby will grow healthy"
4. Help out with other kids- If your wife is a stay-at-home mom, the last thing she needs when you get home from work is another kid to take care of. Yes, you have been at work all day too, but so has she. Just give her a little break. Offer to give the kids a bath OR offer to care of the kids for the evening/afternoon while she goes and gets her nails done or has a girls night!
3. House cleaning- take over a chore that your wife normally does, but is hard to do now that she is pregnant. Your wife will hit a stage in her pregnancy that is called "nesting" and she will want to clean everything in sight! Offer to help her. She is going to clean whether you help or not, but helping always makes it better. It is especially great to offer to take over a chore that is difficult for her to do now that she is pregnant. Taking over cleaning the tub was the chore in our household that was hard for her to do.
2. Remember, she is always right!- Be flexible and understanding. Remember, growing a baby not only changes your wife physically, but also emotionally and mentally! She may be moody some days and totally happy the next. Understand that this is just part of being pregnant. Sh can usually tell when she are grumpy. Respect the fact that she need some space and she does not need you to argue with her about anything. Do not be offended! She still loves you, she just needs you to be agreeable!
AND THE #1 THING A DADDY-TO-BE CAN DO IS...
1. Be Involved- She did not make this baby by herself and she will not be raising the baby by herself, so why should she prepare for the baby by herself? Get involved in the pregnancy: go to as many prenatal visits as you can, go with her to create the baby registry, help pick out colors, themes and whatever else she wants to do to the baby's room, go to birthing classes with her and be involved. It may not seem like a lot to you, but being involved will mean the world to her and show her how much you care about her and the baby.
I hope you (or your spouse) have found this helpful! I would like to give a shout out to my husband for helping me with this post and for being a wonderful husband to a grumpy pregnant lady that loves to change her mind! Happy "Top Ten Tuesday" and as always, God bless you and your family!
Until the Whole World Hears,
Katie (and Jeff)